the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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