their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
