just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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