He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you didnt know i had herpes?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
