I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
