not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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