i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
