my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
