I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
