oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
