i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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