The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Randomize
