the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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