I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
