I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
