We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
