Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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