connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
