Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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