I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
