One girl and one boy is just not enough.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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