there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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