I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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