Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
