Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
how drunk are you?
Several
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
