I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
