Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
