i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
