cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
