I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
