How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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