Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
