I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
