I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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