I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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