Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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