i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
