TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
