once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
