): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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