Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
