how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
