I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
