this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
even my farts smell like vagina
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
