How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
did you just send me my own nude
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
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