what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
