Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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