Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
this is an emotional support booty call
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
