You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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