Fine. I'll sleep in my office
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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