Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
