Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
